It is a strange time as usual more stranger this time.
My parents getting older and problems are rising one after another. We love them dearly me and my sister wants to do anything and everything that we can do and it’s in our power and sometimes beyond that.
We passed a roller coaster ride from 2015 when my dad diagnosed with cancer stage 4 and going through all of the treatments one day after another day… He’s being checked every 3 months with his oncologist and he’s doing fine so far. But this time we jumped another roller coaster that it was created by Mom’s destiny. She’s the most precious velvety person that it can imagine. The kindest softest person who just think of others. She has major issues now and not one too many. We are in a stage that we need lots of energy to focus on the treatments. Our mom is the most positive person and she acts like everything is super fine.
I try to be strong like her and she doesn’t like to talk about it with no friends or family because she is wise and she knows that people will comment and will make our focus turn around to be and think like them and be concerned on what they are concerned.
One of our dear friends very dear friends which she’s been always try to be a good friend except when I needed her so bad and one more exception when my sister needed her so bad. She’s very kind and caring and now she’s telling me everyday that I am there for you please talk and let me be your shoulder to unload your worries. The problem is she doesn’t know how I cope with my problems and agonized days.
My conversation tonight with her made me so upset and I start this blog page because I was so wondering why people don’t understand if you’re offering to be the shoulder you have to know how to hold it not to push back or push forward and jostle you to the ugliest thought. Why you’re trying to be positive and enjoy the life and the moment someone is telling you about the time that she was losing her mom and she was at her death bed! Really that’s how you are my shoulder that’s how you want me to talk?
Is that how your comforting me? I did not go that far I’m not looking at my mom in that situation I don’t want to look at it in that situation that’s not helping me. I love you my friend but please sometimes you don’t have to tell your own story when it’s not the time. If you want to be the shoulder you have to just listen it’s the best to just acknowledge and don’t expand your horror and drama.
This is the reason that I don’t want to talk to anyone about my life complications. Because it is mine and I don’t want to compare it with anyone. Hearing your life story is not going to help me it is just distracting me more and more and take away all of the energy that I spent this afternoon and today to think and be positive and be the hero to make everything possible.
Please do not offer your friends when you don’t know how to be the ears or comfort. I’m not able to tell her that you hurt me so much and this is not the first time because I love her so much and I know she won’t read these words probably ever. But at least I unloaded myself on this white page and this blog is not talking back to me and telling me a story of a sad blog that how was destroyed and never come back to life.